Asher and Autism
As a mother, I always knew there was just "something more" when it came to Asher. Asher was diagnosed with ADHD while he was in preschool at the age of 4. I saw the signs and symptoms when he was 2. After his ADHD diagnosis, he was then diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). ODD wasn't just him "not doing what he was told", it was the explosiveness and change like a lightswitch from happy kid to being raged over the smallest things. After a couple medication changes, he started taking Abilify. I believe that the abilify is what triggered his Trichotillomania (hair pullin disorder). After stopping the Abilify, strangely enough, he stopped pulling his hair.
About a month ago, I started noticing some really strange and concerning behaviors in Asher. The explosiveness was worse and he started not only hurting himself (hitting head off of the wall, biting his knee, etc.) but hurting others as well (scaring his sister of purpose and/or teasing the cats until they hurt him). I was at the point to where I didn't feel it was safe for Aurora to be alone with Asher. He was manipulative, had her watching scary videos (sneaking YouTube), and then asked me a very strange and disturbing question about the cats.
Then, he hit me for the first time. This wasn't a regular "hit", it was a closed fist, arm back, swing at me. He WANTED to hurt me. He got in trouble and then the next day I had a therapy session. I was explaining to my therapist what was going on and she was concerned. She sent his psychiatrist an email about what was going on and Asher's psychiatrist felt that Asher was a danger to himself and others and needed to be hospitalized. Hospitalized because of him being a danger but also for medication management.
IT WAS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE
EVER HAD TO DO IN MY LIFE!
It was so hard but I knew that he needed better, faster, and more help in general. This version of Asher wasn't Asher. We ended up driving to Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh where they took some blood to make sure there wasn't an underlying cause to his behavior. His bloodwork came back really good and they decided to have us take him to Western Psyche in Pittsburgh.
Western Psyche had to be the worst experience I have ever had with a mental hospital. You couldn't take anything with you, there were guards everywhere, doors were always locked. It felt like a prison. However, I understand why it is the way it is. They have really sick and mentally disturbed patients living there. There was even a lockdown at one point while we were there. We slept at Western Psyche for one night and then they found out that Southwood Hospital had an open bed and they would accept Asher there!
We waited at Western Psyche for an ambulance to be available to take asher to Southwood Hospital. It didn't take to long until the ambulance arrived to take him there. We were told it would be best for him to ride in the ambulance and to enter Southwood alone because it is a very traumatic experience. The entire thing was traumatic and I didn't want to add any more trauma on him by making him say goodbye at Southwood. The nurse I talked to made a lot of sense as to why it would be preferable for us to stay back. After Asher got into the ambulance my mother and I just pretty much zombie walked to the car. The second I got to the car and I knew they had taken him, I broke down and shut down. I was numb and only doing everything that I could day to day to care for Aurora and to keep myself together the best that I could.
Asher stayed at Southwood Hospital for 8 days and 7 nights. It was the longest 8 days of my life. We visited him every single day. He even had double visitations where Adam, Cyan, and I saw him in the morning from 10-11am and my mother and Adam's mom would go visit from 5-6pm! We also had a phonecall before he went to bed at around 7:30pm. He was allowed to have his comfort items every night (his pee-oh and Tigey) except for the first two nights for ridiculous reasons.
While Asher was there, there were 2 abuse alligations on a specific staff person. The first incident was where said staff person put him in a bedroom to "calm down". He had no supervision and the hospital knew he was a self-harmer. While in this "calm down" space, Asher had hit his head really hard. He had a big bruise on his forhead and it also had developed a bump. No one noticed it, gave him ice, or reported the incident. I got no phone call about what had he had done and what medical intervention was given because well..."they didn't know it happened and hadn't seen it happen".
The second allogation was when Asher went to get his "comfort items" that he is allowed to have no matter his behavior. He is required to have these items every night no matter what! Well, Asher did explain that the certain staff person wasn't allowing him to go get his comfort items and he tried to get around him to go get his comfort items. As Asher was walking towards the nurses station this staff person decided to grab him by the hood of his hoodie and yank him back. Asher then asked why he wasn't allowed to have his "comfort items" and this staff person simply said "because I said so".
After reporting these to Southwood Hospital's "advocate and risk management" team, the video cameras were looked at and both allogations were true. I'm not sure what disciplinary actions were taken against this staff person but, he clearly shouldn't be working with children. He has no compassion and no concern when it comes to the trauma he is giving these kids.
We made the most of our visits with Asher. We always brought him something yummy to eat for breakfst and dinner. We brought his monster trucks and just sat and visited with him. There were always tears from Asher and us when we left him but day after day, it got easier.
While Asher was there he saw a couple psychiatrists. They called and asked me many questions about Asher's typical behavior. After explaining everything and answering their quetions the doctor said "Has Asher ever had an autism diagnosis?". I told him no and he was very adamant on getting him ADOS (autism diagnostic tool) tested as soon as possible. He believed that the autism played a big part in his explosiveness. He also asked me about past medical diagnosis and I explained to him about how Asher was born with a cleft esophagous. This doctor thinks that physical disorders and mental disorders can go hand in hand with eachother. He instructed me to get Asher a neuro psyche test done and he also suggested genetic testing.
The doctor also kept 3 of his medications and added 2 new medications. Asher is now taking Concerta (ADHD), Ritalin (ADHD boost later in day), Lexapro (Anxiety), Clonadine (ADHD), and Latuda (behavior disturbance due to neurodevelopment disorder). Overall his diagnoses is as follows: intermittenent explosive disorder, anxiety disorder other unspecified anxiety disorder, ADHD combined presentation, and autism spectrum disorder. With his autism diagnosis I am hopeful we are going to get better services to help Asher and to get him and IEP (individualize education plan) for school! I am also excited to get him ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) tested so that we can understand Asher's behaviors and reasons for his reactions! I'm just so hopeful to finally get to understand Asher better and to learn how to parent him properly because of his autism diagnosis.
After those 8 days and 7 nights full of worry, anxiety, and the sick feeling of your son not being home, we could finally pick him up from Southwood Hospital. That day I got the paperwork needed to show his Autism diagnosis. I finally had my answers and motherly hunch recognized. The relief I felt when he came running to me hugging me so tight and saying "Mommy, I finally get to come home" was the best feeling in the world. After we got him in the car, we took Asher and Rory to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate! We let the kids run around, play games, eat pizza, and just "be kids". When the fun was done and we got home, I just looked at Asher and knew that this was the beginning of something amazing!
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